Is spare the rod, spoil the child, in the Bible? Yes or no? Well, when people ask that, I wonder to myself, Why do they ask this question? Is someone looking for a justification for something? Maybe or maybe not.
Yes, there is a Bible verse where the adage, Spare the rod, spoil the child, is derived, and it’s Proverbs 13:24. But do you know what that means? Let’s talk about it!
Not so fast. Let me first outline where this discussion will be anchored around. The main focus will be on the spare the rod, spoil the child verse, what it means, and the origin of the adage. Perhaps we might consider if someone ever violated the rule, who, how they did it, and why. Join us!
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What Does Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child Mean?
Growing up as a child, I was exposed to the adage so much that when I got something wrong, I would remember the Bible encouraging I should be punished and discouraged that I be pardoned. Why? The reason was so that I don’t get spoiled. So, I knew some strokes would be waiting for me, but thank God my religious mom wasn’t always a beating type.
The meaning of spare the rod, spoil the child is generally viewed through the lens of discipline, but to have a more satisfying definition, we’ll need to unpack the contents of the saying.
Proverbs 13:24 WEB says, “One who spares the rod hates his son, but one who loves him is careful to discipline him.” To spare is to express compassion or abstain from punishment. A rod is a metallic or wooden bar with a straight but thin shape.
To spare the rod refers to corporal punishment; it is the refusal to use the rod to spank a person at fault. In this case, we have a child, that is, anyone below 18 years old. So the scripture said that the one who spares the rod hates his son or child. That would follow that they are willing to spoil the child, but the one who loves the child would take due diligence to discipline the child.
What does it mean to spoil the child? To spoil is to cause harm to someone or diminish the quality of something. To spoil the child is to cause damage to the child; it refers to the character of the child taking a negative direction due to parental negligence.
Therefore, “Spare the rod, spoil the child” is an adage that implies that refusing to punish a child for wrongdoing would lead them to becoming an irresponsible adult. While people have objections to how the verse about sparing the rod in Proverbs 13:24 is interpreted, it is largely due to its usage to encourage some form of physical harm to children. More on that later; at this point, let’s consider the origin of the adage.
The Origin Of Spare The Rod Spoil The Child
Where did spare the rod, spoil the child come from? If you think it’s the Bible, you’ll be mistaken. The origin of that exact phrase comes from material different from the Bible, and so does its interpretation.
In the 17th century, a work titled Hudibras by Samuel Butler, an epic addressing religion and religious folks during the English Civil War, was published in parts. In the poem, the exact adage, “spare the rod, spoil a child,” was found but within a different context, supposing intimacy.
What medicine else can cure the fits
Of lovers when they lose their wits?
Love is a boy by poets styled
Then spare the rod and spoil the child.
The last line is exactly what we are looking at, but in the poem, it is used to promote spanking or lashing to encourage the growth of love.
That being said, a look at the statement in light of Proverbs 13:24 presents a case for disciplining children to produce good and responsible adults. But how do parents go about the verse, especially considering the rod as an item of correction? Did someone find the literal verse to be abusive and break the rule?
Who Broke The Rule?
Proverbs 23:13-14 KJV says, “Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.”
I know a man who was a committed Christian and never took that portion of the scriptures for granted. This man had three children, two boys and one girl, and was very serious and frowny about their wrongdoings.
So when anyone of them, especially the boys, committed an act of disobedience, he would take off his belt and use it to flog them on their bodies on several counts. A frown at his actions could result in him saying, “Blow your jaw,” then release a slap with his matured palm on the child’s cheek and repeat.
At other times, he would make them kneel for hours or use a whip to lash them on the dorsal side and other parts of their bodies. All one needed to do to warrant such disciplinary actions was to disobey a simple command, such as “I don’t want to see you outside.”
But does anyone deserve such treatment in the name of discipline to show love for a child? What love exactly? Is it giving them tattoos on their bodies to show your obedience to your understanding of the “word of god” or what?
At this point, I acknowledge how controversial this direction of thought can be, as people argue in support of and against the way some parents approach the wrongdoings of their children with correction or discipline. But one thing is worth considering, and that is what kind of people parents groom for society through maim and cruelty.
Some people get used to being hit by their parents and guidance for every act of disagreement, and they find nothing wrong with doing the same to anyone who wrongs them, including siblings at home, pupils in school, and other public places. What a trauma!?
The enlightened society finds it inappropriate to torture a child in the name of discipline and justify it with the Bible. You can correct a child’s bad behaviors through positive means and not with another bad behavior of yours.
If your culture permits you to use a rod to correct your child, how about you think of a way to use it without drawing a memorial tattoo on the body of your child and leaving them with a lifetime trauma? Maybe communicate with them. You don't need a stick.
